I can't sleep peacefully at night not knowing if you are gonna be there with me the next morning. I cannot imagine life without you anymore. It'll be fine. You'll be fine. Sometimes all you need is a little faith even when nothing's certain. All I want is to make you happy. Why do bad things happen to good people?

today I fucked up pretty bad.
and if anything were to happen to him,
I'll never be able to forgive myself ):

he was fucking teasing me with hysteria. I'd prolly die happy if he had played that song there and then. ugh. plus he looked so cute and vulnerable under the soft soft lights on the stage, I just wanna run up and give him a hug or something. bani hidir you have no idea how you make me feel, you drive me crazy out of my tits. and I have my own awesome goodnight and goodmorning songs. i dono anyone else who has their own songs! I'm excited its like I'm waiting for santa, except that bani hidir is real. trojan horse, helicopter, time is running out and other rocking tunes! Its like a soundtrack to my life of some sort. i knows its gonna sound awesome and shiz!

here i am: wishing, hoping, waiting. and waiting. i don't know what can be worse than not knowing.

there are just too many things running through my mind i just can't seem to find the right words to say. all i know is that you'll be fine. u have to. u promised. sigh.this is just so depressing.